Chapter 4: Caring for Yourself
How do I look after yourself?
It can be extremely difficult to balance your own grief with supporting your family and children, but it’s important that you try to take the time to look after yourself is crucial for both your physical and mental health, as well as helping you process what has happened.
Here is some advice from other parents:
It’s important that you look after yourself as much as possible while you’re grieving, but we understand that it’s easier said than done while you’re also trying to take care of others.
We know it’s a challenge and often you can find yourself burying your own grief to help your own child(ren) or lacking energy to support your family.
Everyone’s grieving journey will be different, and not everyone’s advice will be useful. It’s important you take things one day at a time and find little things which might help you get through it.
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Grieving is a long process, and it is something you should take your time with. Give yourself the space and time to feel whatever emotion in that moment whether you are sad, angry, or lost. It’s normal and acceptable to have good days and bad days, allowing yourself that time to experience and process grieve is an essential part of your healing and will help your children in the long-term.
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Just as we recommend children eat well, get a good night’s sleep, and get fresh air, it’s just as important for you too. Eating regular balanced meals, even on the days when you don’t feel like it, will help your body cope with the emotional stress. Gentle exercise, like going for a walk and getting out in nature can really help to improve your mental health.
If you’re having trouble sleeping, we have two breathing exercises which might help to relax you from Fizz Yasin:
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A lot of people who are grieving feel alone because they don’t have people around them who have experienced the same grief. It can also be difficult to let people in when you are trying to hold it together for your family. It can be very beneficial to let those close to you, like friends and family, offer their support. Whether you need someone to talk to or to offer practical help for your family, it’s important to let people in.
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Finding some structure to your day can be beneficial and help provide a sense of normalcy. It can be as simple as sitting down and having breakfast in the morning, having a shower, or going for a short walk, and it doesn’t need to be overwhelming. What’s important is that you have taken some time in the day for yourself, even if it is just 10 minutes to begin with.
Lisa Lowe, bereavement supporter worker from Stand-by-Me, told us this advice for parents:
In our next topic you will find lots of additional support and advice including charities to speak to, books you can read, podcasts, and different avenues to help.